After decluttering for over a year, it turns out I am following the onion method, just how Dawn, The Minimal Mom, describes it. I am now peeling off the fourth layer of my jewelry onion. It took quite a while and a few revelations to even realize, that I can minimize my jewelry.
I have jewelry I bought myself, which is not very expensive and is quite easy to downsize: Necklaces I don’t wear anymore, rings I have forgotten about, earrings that are not comfortable, and watches that spark unpleasant memories. Most of the dangly earrings I bought during the pandemic because earrings are pretty much the only jewelry you can see on Zoom.
But then I have expensive jewelry that was given to me by my parents. Either it was gifted to me for special occasions, as souvenirs from their trips, or simply because my mother outgrew it, physically, aesthetically, or prestigiously.
Some of those pieces are heirlooms from my paternal grandmother, whom I have never met. I do wear most of it because I like the style. I also have a couple of necklaces from my maternal grandmother, who passed away six years ago and was very important to me. She only had a handful of pieces that she wore when she dressed up. I do treasure those heirlooms, and the ones I don’t wear, I will keep for my children. I save them in a small metal box, my Opa made for my Oma in 1947.
In my family, it was always assumed that I wanted jewelry. Who wouldn’t? And of course, as a teenager, it becomes part of finding and expressing yourself. But I was never asked what I liked, or if I’d rather have something else instead. I think, in my parents’ eyes jewelry is timeless and maintains its value. Which is not true.
Additionally, almost every gift of gold and silver came wrapped very nicely in lots of guilt. I often received them accompanied by words like: „You need to treasure this, it belonged to …“, or „Take good care of it…“, „This was very expensive…“, „Your dad picked this out just for you, keep it safe.“, „You can pass this on to your children.“, just to name a few.
Before I was confirmed my mother told my godmother to get me a necklace with a matching ring, and she told me to go to a certain jeweler to pick it out, just to announce to me later that they decided on a completely different set, because my choice wasn’t elegant and timeless enough, and I probably won’t like it when I’m older.
I had mentioned to my mother that I would like an amethyst ring. She gave me one from my paternal grandmother. My father saw this and said: „My dad gave it to my mother, it’s handmade. If you sell this, I disown you.“ The next day, I gave it back to her. I do not want to wear anything wrapped in so much guilt.
I have been selling jewelry (no worries, not the pieces from my grandmothers), and I had lots of doubts during the whole process and beyond. Doubts due to all the guilt that had been tied to those valuables for all those years. I just never saw it this way. I used to think gifts need to have a guilt-wrapping. But they don’t! You give a present, and then it’s gone. It’s not yours anymore. The gift receiver is the sole owner from the moment the transaction is completed.
Decluttering and minimalizing gave me all those revelations. Today I feel free. An enormous ballast has been lifted from me. I am excited to have dropped all that guilt that weighed so much more than the metal itself. I am ecstatic to leave the past behind, the bad memories, and the liability.