I asked Andreea, if she has an idea for this week’s blog, and she suggested „decluttering your schedule“. My first thought was, yes, great idea, I can definitely do that. Then my second thought was, but I am not very good at it myself, especially lately. Right now I feel exhausted, overwhelmed, and overextended. I might just need sleep and a break, which I am not good at granting to myself. Once my „work work“ is done, I feel I need to use every available minute to catch up on our paperwork, writing for my kids, and my personal writing.
So I am going to write this for Andreea and myself.
Last summer I listened to the book Essentialism and loved it. The biggest revelation it gave me was, that it’s not easy for essentialists either. At least the way I remember it, they know they have to make a decision, and that the decision will be hard, and it will hurt, and it will ask for sacrifice, but in the end, it’s worth it.
Saying no has never been a problem for me, being German and all, but I can get quite excited about almost anything. I will dive into it head first before even watching the water for currents, or making sure it’s a body of water I actually would like to swim in. And jumping in is always easier than climbing out. It’s also much harder to find a good exit point once you are inside the water, instead of scanning the edge beforehand.
I also love and hate the saying: You can do everything, just not at the same time. It makes me want to scream: But I can! Later, I have to admit it’s not true. If I do, my mood will suffer, which bounces off of the people around me and reflects on the quality of my life, which is not fair and worth it. It’s very hard to have to postpone things for later, but it might be the only way.
There is one aspect though that has been quite easy for me. Christmas is the perfect example. There are tons of things we do because we feel we have to, subconsciously. So just take a minute, and reflect on those things. Do you really have to do them? Why? The women in my family were and still are completely stressing over making Christmas cookies. The sweets have to be ready before the first of advent, there need to be at least five different kinds, the Vanillekipferl have to melt in your mouth, after greatgrandma’s recipe, and so on. I work full-time until a week before Christmas, and I have not baked cookies with my kids yet, and I refuse to feel bad about it. In fact, we have gotten so many sugar-loaded goodies from friends that I might need to give us a break and wait till after the Weihnachtsmann stopped by. (The German one doesn’t expect milk and cookies by the fireplace.) Just start your own traditions, or drop some. Children will appreciate a relaxed parent, who has time for them much more than a bowl of cookies. It’s healthier too.